Natural Attachment

August 29, 2008

Hanging with Friends

Filed under: Family & Friends, Radical Unschooling, Unschlog — Tags: , , , , — michele james-parham @ 8:07 pm

Yesterday, we bus hopped to hang out with friends we haven’t seen in awhile. There was fighting, bickering and arguing, as to be expected. There were cars, planes and trains, as to be expected.

Elijah was more interested in the baby’s toys than anything else, I think! Well, actually, there was some scheming by the boys — they were making plans for a sleepover in the near future.

I got to see the adorable and yumm–ily sweet baby girl Banyan (and her mum, Courtney), who I got the pleasure of being midwife to at her birth.

There was crafting of sorts with Dore (he is sporting the best ever vest!), which consisted of using scissors, tape, markers and wooden trains. Poor guy is all blinded by my super bright flash :(

It was a happy day, if you subtract all the traffic we encountered when our friends drove us back home all the way across the city :)

12th CSA from Kretschmann Farm

Filed under: Grub, Pittsburghian — Tags: , , , , , , — michele james-parham @ 7:47 pm

 

In our crate this week:

11 Tomatoes
5 Green Heirloom Tomatoes
1 pt. Cherry Tomatoes
1 Hot Pepper (of some kind…Jalapeño)
2 Green Bell Peppers
1 Red Bell Pepper
Lg. bunch Basil
2 sm. heads Green Leaf Lettuce
Sm. bg. Beets (about 1 1/2 pints…haven’t actually counted them yet)
Sm. Spaghetti Squash
Sm. Watermelon
2 Onions

*bonus: I gathered about 3 pints of Roma Tomatoes from our front yard today and another pint or two back on Tuesday.

August 27, 2008

Mattress Factory, The Park and Race Tracks

Filed under: Life, Radical Unschooling, Unschlog — Tags: , , , , , , — michele james-parham @ 7:49 pm

On Tuesday we left daddy home so that he could get some extra sleep and get some music done. We hoped on the bus and headed to the Central Northside a.k.a Mexican War Streets. First, we skipped through a community garden close to where we hoped off the bus and then we ran into Beleza and grabbed a vegan turnover and something to sip on. Elijah found a puzzle on the bookshelf that amazingly enough had all its pieces! We ran across the street from Beleza to another little garden-y spot to look around.

Next we walked over to The Mattress Factory [an art museum] and got to see its new exhibits — Inner & Outer Space. We also got to see its new expanded location just a couple doors down. We spent the majority of our time out in the garden at the museum. Elijah likes to run around the ‘urban lanscaping’, which is basically the remnants of what was once a house, but now only bits of its basement and steps exist. There is also a pretty neat little water feature, complete with a little waterfall.




After we left the museum, we walked over to the Old Allegheny Community Gardens for a look-see. Sorry, no pictures of the community gardens, but believe me when I tell you that everyone’s lot looks wild and fantastic and there are LOTS of huge sunflowers everywhere!

Today, we meet up with a family that we ran into at the park last week. Elijah and the little girl get on with one another quite well. The mum and I exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up today so the the kiddos could play. I got to meet the dad today and he’s a cool & fun guy. The mum is really nice, an artist and someone who likes to hang out at The Moose. It’s nice to finally meet someone nearby, who is fun to be around and who doesn’t take this parenting gig so damn seriously! They aren’t homeschoolers, but they are awesome. Bella, the daughter, and E have fun together and that’s what it’s all about. We’re going to hang out with them again at their house in Manchester next week one evening. I kind of forgot about taking pictures of them, but I did snap a couple of Elijah dancing at the park before Bella and family arrived. ~~Elijah just informed me that he wasn’t dancing, but that he was being ‘king of all the trees’…so there you go~~


This afternoon, after we both had a nap, because we got up so freaking early to go to the park, E made a race track for some vehicles and I was on the ball with the camera.


Then we ‘had to’ walk over to Rite Aid and get some more pretzels and check out their popcorn selection. I snapped a picture of the kiddo goofing off in the driveway.

We’ve had a good couple of days, filled with people, places, some creativity and lots of online computer games :)

August 24, 2008

Learning All the Time

Filed under: Life, Photographs, Radical Unschooling, Religiosophy — Tags: , , — michele james-parham @ 4:36 pm

This post is for Ren’s September Blog Carnival over at Radical Unschoolers’ Network.

“That’s our topic for September…natural learning.
Some ideas (but anything that inspires you on this topic is fair game!):

~How did you, as the parent, start to see the learning in everything?
~If your children went to school, how did they respond to letting go of the subject idea and learn to trust their interests?
~Show your family learning joyfully without the baggage of subjects.
~Talk about the rich and varied learning that happens when you don’t try to separate the world into individual,tidy boxes.”

When did I stop thinking about life in terms of ’subject areas’? Once I tried to shove everything into them for a solid week. It became blindingly obvious after just a couple days that everything we do leads to learning something and almost everything we do covers at least two subject areas if not all of them! I stuck with it though and finished an entire week of the nonsense and then wised up to reality. Thankfully, I learned my lesson way before I ‘have to’ report to anyone on the matter…now I am prepared, because I am living life.

We’ve found that our lives do not conform to or fit neatly into tick boxes labeled: mathematics, science, language arts, history and so forth. It is both extremely difficult and artificial to try and label our life moments accordingly. We are learning all the time. Everything we do causes us to explore ideas, use or develop skills and make meaningful connections to the bigger picture of our existence. Our ‘classroom’ has no artificial boundaries, forced agendas or cute bulletin boards. Our ‘classroom’ is our life — the life WE lead.

When I have a conversation with someone, even a traditionally schooled child, I don’t ask them what they did for math or science today.  I ask them if they enjoyed their hike in the woods, mention that I heard they baked their own birthday cake or I ask them about the comic books they are reading. I ask them their feelings on something that has happened in their family, community or the world. We talk about our ideal vacation spots or what kind of food we could eat forever. Sometimes when I am talking to a person, they might mention something that inspires me to try something new - to learn about something. Which of these things is not learning? Isn’t baking math and science and even social studies and history when food relates to specific cultures or time periods? Is reading not reading, regardless of the materials chosen? When did we stop living and start dissecting the joy right out of life, by over analyzing every aspect of what we do?

I know many friends around the world who have to cram their lives into these very subjective tick boxes in order to satisfy their local homeschooling laws. While it might be difficult and artificial to do recite all that we have done in any particular subject area, I can offer tons of examples of major and minor learning and exploring moments that are relative to areas of life and living — the subjects that each of us relate to on a daily basis. These could be labeled as: listening, reading, watching, creating, doing, visiting/exploring, writing and playing.

When reflecting back over the day, week, month or year and trying to fulfill law requirements, it seems so much more natural and authentic to use these alternative ’subject areas’. Instead of trying to remember everything and then cramming it into educationese, list off books that were read; letters, stories & emails that were written; clothes or costumes that were made, handmade birthday cards and nature collages; altering recipes, house remodeling/repairs & experiments with dry ice; touring the capital building, volunteering at a local preschool and weekly romps at the children’s museum; building forts, mud pits and fairy house; playing house, never ending games of chess and taking apart the computer (’just because’)…these are all things that kids have done or will do in their daily life, if they are given the freedom to do them and if they are included in life just like all of the adults who surround them. You can still go back over this list and grab out examples of math or history and so on to satisfy even the pickiest of homeschooling laws. When you treat it this way, you are less likely to be worrying about whether or not you covered math today or worse, you won’t be tempted to try and plan anything to specifically stamp it with a subject area! Just live life and pause often to think back over all the fun and exciting things you have done.

When you allow yourself and your children the freedom to live ‘real’ lives, then fantastic things happen spontaneously and have so much more meaning than when you try to cut everything up and make a diagram of every moment. You will enjoy yourself and your children so much more when you take that family vacation to Washington, DC and you have fun and enjoy yourself, instead of trying to fit as much ‘history’ or ‘citizenship’ into the mix — how could one visit Washington, DC and not learn about some of those things?

I love watching E spontaneously think up an idea for some crazy experiment or how he’ll add in little bits of information about topics while we are talking — I usually have no idea where/how he ‘learned’ these bits, but that does not matter. The best moments are when I see him making connections; how he realizes that everything and everyone is connected. He’s a imaginative kid and I’d hate to take that away from him. Thanks to him and his imagination, I have been able to rekindle my own imagination. Living life as though school (or any of its trappings) does not exist, is so free, joyful, organic and rewarding.

August 23, 2008

Running Around Bellvue


This afternoon we ran around Bellvue, PA and headed over to the coffeeshop, but it was closed until later in the day — oops! mum forgot about!

Unschooling Cruise 2009 - We are so there

Filed under: Entertainment, Life, Radical Unschooling — Tags: , , , , , — michele james-parham @ 3:26 am

That’s right, a cruise to Bermuda for Unschoolers and their friends and family!

What are you going to do…

…with your tax return next year? William, Elijah and I know what we are going to do with ours. We are going to spend 5 nights on a cruise ship leaving port from the New York Harbor and heading out to Bermuda. We’ll be on this cruise ship surrounded by families, which many have become good friends with us through the internet and in real life. What do all these families have in common with us? They are all Unschooling families; they are all raising free and unschooled children.

What better way to spend time than with us on a family cruise and be able to fully immerse yourself into the daily interactions of families living in harmony with one another and following along with their children’s passions in life. The cruise will have all the usual trappings of  Royal Caribbean cruises, is only for Unschoolers and their friends and family and will have Unschooling conference lectures and discussion panels — all of the lectures/discussions are optional.

We would love it if you could come on this cruise with us. We think it would be a fantastic family vacation and a way for you to learn heaps about how we live our lives.

Here’s the website for the cruise with all pertinent information: http://www.unschoolingontheseas.com
You will need a current Passport for this adventure: http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/get_840.html

And if you’re interested in reading more about Unschooling:
http://www.naturalattachment.com/wordpress/category/education/radical-unschooling-education/ (my blog posts specifically about unschooling)
http://sandradodd.com/seeingit
http://www.borntoexplore.org/unschool/whatis.htm
http://www.borntoexplore.org/unschool/Uncurriculum.htm
http://joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling/unschoolingphilosophy.html

August 22, 2008

YouTube

Filed under: Life, Media, Photographs, Radical Unschooling — Tags: , — michele james-parham @ 9:32 pm

Well, the child is now on YouTube.

Unschooling Sleep

I just finished listening to Sarah Parent’s podcast on unschooling sleep, which was great. I wanted to talk briefly about unschooling and sleep while it is fresh in my mind.

I think one of the most asked questions I get from mainstream parents is, ‘how do you get your son to sleep that long?’ or ‘…to sleep until XXX?’ My quick answer is always, ‘I don’t force him to bed at 7pm (or any arbitrary time).’ This seems like sound logic to me. The question askers either admit that it is crazy to be doing the insane things they do to try and force their kiddos to bed at 7, 8 and 9pm, just to turn around and bitch about having to wake up at 5am with them — Or they complain that they would never get anything done, or have free time/sex time or just fill in the blank with whatever-you-want-time!

Sometimes the people doing the asking have kids in daycare/school or are planning on having them enrolled in one of those in the near future and they can’t see how respected sleep cycles and structured institutions can mesh well. Well, they don’t mesh well. Yet another reason to add to your list of pros and cons when deciding whether or not to force your children into a setting they might not want to be in…especially when you have options (I didn’t say stress-free options) to not ‘have to’ force them into school/daycare. How important is subjecting a child to school, if they can’t even have freedom when it comes to their personal body and cycles? Maybe there are those out there who don’t see it as forcing, because they just see school as ‘unavoidable’, so their kids just have to get used to it.

Do you enjoy or would you enjoy someone else informing you when you are tired and when to go to bed? Are you currently in a situation where you ‘have to’ go to bed at a certain time, because you ‘have to’ get up at a certain time? Thankfully, children don’t ‘have to’ go to school.

Up until this last year & a half, I know that I was like most parents when it came to bed time. I rarely forced my son to bed, but it was clear that when I chose the time (which was not consistent) that was it. Now, unlike most parents, we are co-sleepers (only part-time since about 2 1/2 years ago) and I would have never let Elijah ‘cry-it-out’. I usually laid there with him until he fell asleep. It was still coercion, but better than most. Now, it’s been more of, ‘Now is the time for me to read to you, if you want me to read and for daddy & I to have some time alone. You can quietly play your Leapster or read/play in your room until you go to sleep. Here’s some water, a snack and some love.’

Does that mean I don’t still have nights where I am about to cry or scream, because E is so tired that he’s fighting it with every ounce of his body? No. But, I try to remember that it will pass and I try to help him get what he needs so that he can calm down inside. Trial and error some nights, but most are quite uneventful.

I know in the past on this blog someone mentioned in the comments that their child wasn’t able to regulate their own sleep cycles, because when the commenter ‘let’ her do it, she stayed up for many days in a row with no sleep and didn’t eat well and etc. Apparently, she ended up getting really sick. Now, I don’t know all the factors involved with this particular situation, but it sounds like what I have heard described by several parents as to what happened to them during the de-schooling or unschooling of sleep period with their children. Their children went from having bedtime be this truly painful event to completely rebelling against it, pushing past physically acceptable boundaries and then they did eventually come back down to their own autonomous sleep cycles. They were only able to find their own cycles, because their parents guided & supported them through this de-schooling period. Ridding one’s life of forced and coerced traditions, cycles and experiences is often painful, debilitating and scary as hell.

I have some more links to share with you about sleep, children and unschooling:
Sandra Dodd on Sleeping
Sandra Dodd on Bedtimes
What do you mean no bedtimes?

What are your thoughts on sleep? Do you have problems with sleep now as an adult, because of how sleep with forced on you as a child? Are you struggling through the rebellious de-schooling part of unschooling sleep?

August 21, 2008

Week in Review 2

Filed under: Life, Photographs, Radical Unschooling, Unschlog — Tags: , , — michele james-parham @ 11:33 pm

After the positive response to the last ‘week in review’ blog that I posted (loaded with lots of pictures & very few words), I present you with another week of awesome-ness!


Peek-A-Boo (how could you not love this face?!)

E & I spent an afternoon at Affogato (the big red ‘a’), drinking coffee, running around in the yard & taking each other’s pictures (even upside down).






We played on our balcony with our new Robot Pencil Sharpener & posed for camera-ham pictures!







Finally got a picture of the mysterious toy horse that has some how found its way up on top of the building right next to our bus stop by the house…s/he appeared early this Spring and has survived many storms…we think s/he might have been glued down!

We finally tried out Oh Yeah!, where we got to gorge on VEGAN ice cream!!! Oh, and we also found where Waldo was hiding!

We ran around East Liberty and Downtown late at night, practicing our balance beam skills, trying out new bus routes and romping around ‘eyeball park’ (Katz Plaza).





I think we had a great time! What filled your week?

Eleventh CSA from Kretschmann Farm

Filed under: Grub, Pittsburghian — Tags: , , , , , — michele james-parham @ 10:24 pm

Once again, I haven’t forgotten how to count…last week was rushed and crazy, so no pictures or posts about the CSA share last week, but trust me when I say that it was pure goodness!

In this week’s crate:

Lg. head Green Leaf Lettuce
Lg. bag Various Young Chard Leaves
Med. bunch Basil
Sm. bunch Cilantro
Lg. bag Carrots
11 Red Tomatoes (the usual kind!)
2 Green/Yellow Striped (Heirloom) Tomatoes
6 Red Potatoes
1 Lg. Onion
1 Lg. Green Bell Pepper
1 Jalapeño
1 bulb Garlic
1 pnt. Blueberries

* I have lots of tomatoes to freeze/turn into yummy sauce to freeze.

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"Do you ever wonder who the leader is? Do you ever stop and think that you could stop following and start leading your own family?" - Valerie Fitzenreiter

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