I love the inter-web (a.k.a the Internet). Upon searching for a particular rant concerning other people, their stupidity, toasters and “school” (don’t ask), I inadvertently stumbled unto this brilliant gem below by Craig of Furrowed Brow Smile and The Wonderful Happens.
Someone was in our house the other day – as part of a larger group – asking, or rather stating, “so, you school at home do you?” (ugh… what an awful term). She’s a teacher. The statement was also easily recognized as bit of a set-up since she already knew the kids didn’t go to school. What was interesting was that the four of us had the same reaction: silence and a continuation of what we were doing. Then from the sublime came the ridiculous: “do you have desks where you do your work from?” More silence (and audible grunts) from the adults; laughter from the kiddos. Eventually one of us attempted to point out that our learning took place everywhere but the hand gesture meant to imply not only the house but the entire world around us was interpreted as pointing to the window seat. This seemed to satisfy her and the questions ceased as she embraced herself in the knowledge that we taught our kids on a 5×3 foot section of Ikea-fabric encased foam. Next time I’ll point to the toaster.
wow! I will be forever amazed by what I can find on the Internet and what people will ask myself and others about what it is exactly that we do (or don’t do). I really truly try to be patient, because I know that for a lot of people, the concept of homeschooling (let alone unschooling) is foreign (like a language can be) for so many people…especially those who are in the field of education AND can not allow themselves the mental image of children thriving without their “expertise”.
I’ll admit it; home-education or living a school-free life is NOT what is ingrained in our psyches and to actively go against what is drilled into us, can at times, feel ‘wrong’, but usually it feels (or at least ends up feeling) liberating, joyful and ‘right’. For someone who has spent at least 4 years (usually many more) to gain the ‘right’ to ‘teach’ our children to be faced with a family that blatantly shuns the institution, lives in such a way that is the complete opposite of the institution AND who have seemingly bright children, it can be unbelievable and said person might take it personally. I mean after all, they spent all this time in school themselves, spent years at their job and they work VERY hard at their job and here’s this family just living life — who do they think they are to just live life — and pointing out all that is inherently wrong with the institution. I can see why teachers feel threatened…
Please explain to me why people still think you *have to*:
sit in a chair…at a desk
read by a certain magical age
have a qualified/certified ‘teacher’
use textbooks/workbooks/worksheets
walk in a straight line/raise your hand
use hall passes to take a leak
spend 3 to 8 hours with children of the same age and relatively same level of intelligence
follow a specific scope and sequence
do what everyone else is doing
not spend considerable amounts of time on things that bring you Joy and that you are passionate about
spend considerable amounts of time ‘learning’ about things YOU don’t need to know right now
read certain stories/books at certain times
take tests/quizzes
memorize lots of names, dates and factoids that have no real meaning or connection to your life
know the ‘times table’
…to have an education or to be educated…notice there are so many other inane and asinine things I left off this list. Oh, yeah and why do people still believe that you *have to* spend 3 to 8 hours a day for 10 to 13 years sheltered inside an institution away from the Real World all while reading about the Real World and trying desperately to comprehend Real World situations and skills without actually living in the Real World where one might find themselves in said situations using said skills and doing all of this in theory to prepare one for living in the Real World…why not just skip the middle man and actually live in the Real World?
I understand that for some families (even after creative thinking and problem solving) school is the ‘best’ option or at least the ‘best’ option for the time being. I really feel sorry for these families, because their children are being tortured (even the ones who ‘love’ school) on some level. Okay, maybe tortured is a bit extreme, but is it really? As much as I advocate for families living school-free lives, I also advocate for the current education model (public, private and charter) to be replaced with democrat free schools and for compulsory education to be a thing of the past. Every man woman and child should be in charge of their own education. At least if families have to take advantage of free or reduced priced childcare, it can be at a free school where a child can be in charge of his education and where he won’t be treated like an inmate or second-class citizen.
As for finding the original rant I was looking for…no luck yet, but sometimes it’s nice to not be able to find what you are looking for…it can mean finding even better things.
I’ve learned to expect people to get rather defensive when they hear about unschooling… It seems that they feel if they admit that you don’t have to spend time in institutions to learn, then they have to realize that all of the years they spent “learning” in institutions were unnecessary, and no one wants to admit that!
Comment by Idzie — January 25, 2009 @ 12:03 am
Absolutely!!! Or, they conveniently only remember the ‘good’ times and can’t figure out what it is that the rest of us are bitching about…
Comment by michele james-parham — January 25, 2009 @ 3:21 am
My sister-in-law is incredibly loving and accepting of our lifestyle, which deviates in innumerable ways from the “norm”, and yet I don’t think she has really been able to wrap her mind around unschooling. She knows we are homeschooling, and every couple months she will ask, “so, has Rainer started school yet?” At which time I patiently explain that our “schooling” is simply a continuation of what we have always done. We follow Rainer’s interests and explore them together in the world around us. If a blank expression results I go through the routine of giving examples of how following his dinosaur interest naturally leads to studying reading, writing, art, geography, biololgy, pre-history, science, ecology… This usually leads to something like, “oh, I get it.”
Then, a couple months later, my sister-in-law will ask, “so, has Rainer started school yet?”
Sigh.
Comment by April — January 25, 2009 @ 9:19 am
Yes April, repeating things to well meaning family can be exhausting. Even though family & friends repeatedly ask the same questions and say that they understand after you have explained things yet again (and this time with new examples!), they will never really be able to wrap their heads around the concept.
In the beginning I sort of liked all the questions from family/friends…it meant to me that they were genuinely interested in my son and his educational path because they loved him. However, as time went by for some of these well meaning people, the conversations became me trying to ease fear after fear and defend (not explain) my position. I don’t need validation from family/friends (or strangers) that what I am doing is ‘right’ — I already know that what I am doing is ‘right’ — but it would be nice for people to either educate themselves, respect my personal choices and leave well enough alone if things have to be school vs. unschool every time we exchange words.
Comment by michele james-parham — January 25, 2009 @ 12:38 pm