I’m a barefoot person in general. I really don’t like shoes. I have gone through countless pairs of flip flops as to appear somewhat ‘civilized’ for the sake of other people — much in the same way that I typically use a utensil of some sort when eating with ‘mixed company’. Honestly, I couldn’t give a damn what other people think about my dirty unshod feet or my messy hands (that I frequently wipe off around my hip region). As a young child, teenager and adult, I have been lectured by all sorts of well-meaning people (both strange & known) about the ‘dangers’ of being barefoot and the social ‘yuckiness’ of it all. I Know (capitalized purposely) where I am walking when I am barefoot. I am also directly connected to the Earth (I realize I am a hippie) when I am feeling soft grass and dirt seep between my toes. It just feels better and right. Shoes are rather oppressive and often hurt too much to be the ‘correct’ way of handling feet, so it seems to me.
It’s no real surprise that I belong to the shoes-off-at-the-door-club. I think it’s funny that I can be having a lovely conversation with one of my neighbors in the drive or on the street and realize that they’ve looked down at my feet more than once. I always wonder what they might be thinking. Oddly enough, I really like socks. Rather, I like to collect and often don random and wild combinations of socks, but it doesn’t please my feet, only my eyes. However, I will admit that in the last year, my feet have become colder more often than they have in the past and I have greatly appreciated my weird obsession with socks. This doesn’t mean that I don’t still go barefoot until my toes are practically blue. It’s nice, the sensory input, to step lightly onto fresh snow and grab the mail and then return to warm flooring.
My Dear Other Half shakes his head when we have conversations that involve socks, shoes, feet, barefoot or anything related. He hates flip flops and would rather me just go barefoot. I would injure my feet a lot less if I just never tried to wear shoes — even ‘real’ shoes. I also wouldn’t trip and almost kill my child…can’t recall tripping up once while barefoot. I’ve also been known to own a crazy amount of shoes, but only wear like two pair until they are no longer recognizable as shoes. Shoes and I have issues that go way back though. I have huge feet and always have. I *had to* wear ‘boys shoes’ most of growing up, not that I minded, because I was the girl who would under no circumstance wear a dress/skirt or other such ‘girly’ crap without a literal physical altercation between myself and whomever thought that they were going to ‘force’ me to wear such demeaning clothing — I actually used the words demeaning at the time. Now, you can usually find me wearing a shirt, but mind you, I am no Lady regardless of what style of clothing is covering the bits that most find it objectionable to show in public — skirts are just easier for all manner of moving, climbing & general lounging. Again, in ‘mixed company’ (what does that phrase really mean?), I do try to remember to wear shorts or other garments under my skirts.
I would assume that many of the reasons people find it so objectionable to be unshod in public are for the very same reasons they give about not wanting to remove their shoes upon entering a building/house. Oh, and all of the dangerous things that can happen from not wearing shoes. This brings me to the matter of my son not wearing shoes and the best website I’ve found on the matter (thanks for the link Dayna).
“Children were not born to walk. They were born to run — barefoot, over rocks, through the water, through the mud. We need to give greater recognition to the energy and joy of children.”
“Children were not born to wear shoes. In our concern for hygiene and safety, we develop amnesia. Give children a break! Remember how good mud feels between the toes?”. — Bev Boss
I don’t ‘make’ (that implies force or coerce) my son to wear shoes. If anything, I am usually encouraging him to not wear them. His feet don’t have the years of practice that mine have at going over asphalt, those annoying little ‘pebbles’ that litter the sidewalks and so on. He’s getting there. I never thought that I’d produce such a child that is timid about going barefoot. However, I think being barefoot outside is only part of the larger aspect of being outside, which is very chaotic, unpredictable & ever changing; it’s often too much for both of us and our sensory integration hangups. Alas, he does share my love of crazy socks.
I believe this Spring/Summer will make the beginning of a journey in a more “un-shoed” environment. When I asked Andrew at Affogato whether or not he cared that E was barefoot he replied with something like, “as long as he’s not putting his feet on the tables or something”. While I laughed and thanked him, I wondered if that meant it was ‘okay’ to place our shod feet on the tables. Sometimes, even intelligent people say odd things. The Family Dollar in Bellevue didn’t seem to mind that E was unshod, nor did the Rite Aid on the corner by our house…in fact no one really noticed and if they did, they certainly weren’t lecturing us. It was only the 45-ish year old woman on the bus who asked E whether he lost his shoes or if we forgot them. I politely told her that his shoes were in my bag in case he decided that he wanted to wear them. You can imagine her face, because at first she smiled and nodded because she assumed I was saying something reasonable about his bare feet, but then it clicked and her face twisted a little and she huffed out, “some lucky kid you are”. Some lucky lady she is that I didn’t tell her off and to mind her own feet.
Are you barefoot? Are your kids barefoot?
I love going barefoot! If not for the fact that I have rather poor circulation so that my feet get numb/turn blue fairly easily, I’d go barefoot a good 9 months of the year. As it is, I simply enjoy the Spring and Summer freedom of bare feet. I’m rather proud of my calloused feet, actually, seeing as I can walk over most terrain that would cause great pain to regular shoe wearing folk!
Comment by Idzie — April 26, 2009 @ 11:40 pm
“I’m rather proud of my calloused feet, actually, seeing as I can walk over most terrain that would cause great pain to regular shoe wearing folk!”
Here, here! I can relate and I can tread where shod people feel pain with & without shoes!
Comment by michele james-parham — April 26, 2009 @ 11:44 pm
Barefoot mama and barefoot kids whenever we can be. I prefer Crocs to flip-flops though, and we keep a big pile of them by the door to drag along with us when The Six and I go out amongst the “civilized” people.
I love Crocs. With a grand, great love. So light, so almost unnoticeable…
Sean hates bare feet and wears socks pretty much constantly!
Comment by feebee — April 27, 2009 @ 12:06 am
I’m warming up to Crocs…they no longer seem so terribly ugly to me! Elijah has a pair of knock-off Crocs and they do fine for him, but he’s more of a wellies kind of guy year round.
William is barefoot at home and around the yard. However, he’s personally into wearing shoes & such. He wishes it was still acceptable for him to wear a suit all day, everyday and then a ’smoking jacket’ at home. Can you tell he has a crush on Emily Post?!
Comment by michele james-parham — April 27, 2009 @ 12:12 am
Thanks for the link and bringing up a great subject.
I go barefoot at home. I tend not to go barefoot outside, unless I am stepping out momentarily. I suppose that is just my sense of order.
I get irritated when I see Alexander the Great and other ancient Greek warriors portrayed wearing sandals- those guys fought their ancient battles in bare feet!
I have about thirty pairs of flip flops- I just love them and don’t care for other shoes.
I wear flip flops in the office; but I work at a hospital accident and emergency, so I wear crocs or sneakers there. My boss gave me a firm warning that I must not wear flip flops at the accident and emergency.
Comment by Matthew C — April 27, 2009 @ 12:32 pm
Wow, you’ve really got me thinking! I really like going barefoot, but for some reason am conscious of my feet and always feel I have to hide them. I also love socks too!
Regarding my 2 year old son – One day last week we were in the supermarket and he asked me to take his shoes and socks off. I was a bit reluctant, but did it, and he ran around the supermarket barefoot. I kind of liked it, but was nervous too – for some reason I thought his feet might get stepped on by someone or run over by a trolley or something (even though that has never happened when he’s been wearing shoes), and I just couldn’t relax until we got outside and he let me put his shoes back on.
He quite often asks me to take his shoes and socks off when we’re out and about, and I have to admit I usually refuse, giving some explanation about dirt, or broken glass (loving the site you linked to regarding all the What If’s!) – but you’ve really inspired me and I’ll be making huge efforts to say yes to him from now on and let him go barefoot. I might even be really brave and join him!
Thanks for this post! xx
Comment by Debs — April 27, 2009 @ 1:48 pm
“He wishes it was still acceptable for him to wear a suit all day, everyday and then a ’smoking jacket’ at home.”
But I would be barefoot or in socks while at the office. Shoes get you from one barefoot place to another. It’s more of an issue of “finishing the look” for me anyway. Flippy-floppies and jeans don’t go together unless you live in Singapore or Thailand or someplace with enough heat and humidity to turn any shoe into a petri dish with your toes as the agar. I have officially given up on the Crocs issue. It’s a hideous shoe that can be hosed down (and no shoe should only need a spritzing off to clean), but it’s better than sandals. Alas, I think the words “All Or Nothing” will be carved into my gravestone.
Comment by william g. parham — April 27, 2009 @ 4:05 pm
Matt~ Somewhere on the site that I linked to there was information about some hospitals were considering a barefoot policy (as in bare feet are okay). I think I have seen pictures of doctors in India barefoot in surgery. Honestly, I’d rather go barefoot into a men’s bathroom at a less-than-savory-club than trot around a hospital barefoot. However, I think I have only worn flip flops in the hospital… maybe it’s only ‘yucky’ when I think about it while sitting here at the computer!
Debs~ Glad I could inspire you. I don’t think most people give children too much grief over the shoe thing…they might ask them where their shoes are and such, but I can’t imagine nor have I heard of someone laying into a child over them having bare feet. I ran all around Oklahoma City with and without my mum unshod…she worried that I’d get her kicked out of a store, but it never happened and thankfully, she never made me wear shoes.
William~ You mean you want a gravestone…”All Or Nothing”, that sounds about right
Shoes get you from one barefoot place to another (I can accept that)…kind of like not needing a coat if you have a car, as the car is your coat from one overheated place to another.
Comment by michele james-parham — April 27, 2009 @ 7:31 pm
I love going barefoot. I often give myself pedicures and it always seems such a shame to pretty up my toes and no one ever sees them. I do wear socks often because of circulation issues. Otherwise it’s either bare feet or flip flops. The show I am in right now is an African fairytale and we do lots of dancing. During rehearsals, we danced barefoot (as it should be with African dancing) Once the tour began, we were made to wear dance shoes, which we have all danced holes in.
Comment by Charli — April 27, 2009 @ 8:51 pm
Michele, I work in the field of drug and alcohol misuse.
I would be very interested if you could give some thoughts as to how an unschooler would handle the subject of drugs and alcohol.
There is a belief among many that education is the answer to getting young people to make sensible (?) choices about drug and alcohol use.
How would an unschooler deal with that subject?
Comment by Matthew C — April 28, 2009 @ 2:01 am
matt~ I’ll get back to you on that one…I might make a post about said topic
Comment by michele james-parham — April 28, 2009 @ 2:02 am
Hi,
YES! YES! I blogged about this ages ago. I love going barefoot and the types of shoes they have for chidlren is shocking – hard and stiff and unforgiving. I’m making some crocheted moccasins at the moment so that she can have something soft instead of retail shoes.
Comment by Mon — April 30, 2009 @ 4:22 am
[...] several parts to this. First, we were outside almost the entire time — in my post about going unshod, I said, “I never thought that I’d produce such a child that is timid about going [...]
Pingback by Natural Attachment » UUCNH Playgroup & a Caveat — June 4, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
[...] awhile back, Matthew C. left me a comment; in which he asked me about unschoolers and drug use: Michele, I work [...]
Pingback by Natural Attachment » Drugs…Sex…? — June 10, 2009 @ 3:20 pm
i love the feel of leather dance shoes compared to synthetic fabrics.:*’
Comment by Millie Wood — June 20, 2010 @ 9:44 pm