One of the first pieces of advice parents get from other peaceful/mindful parents or unschooling parents when they are trying to release their need for control is, “just say yes”. The idea is to find a way to say yes to everything that you possibly can…barring those things which could cause serious harm. And when harm is a possibility, find ways to say yes to part of a request or offer a slight tweak in the idea/plan to avoid possible harm. It is always possible on some level to say yes I am finding (reminding myself).
Yes feels right. Fluid. Flexible. Adaptable. Yes feels loving. Light. Comforting. No feels wrong. Rigid. Unmoving. No feels defeated. Cumbersome. Finite.
I am usually a ‘yes-mum’, but lately, for unknown reasons, I’ve been saying some nos. I realized it today while looking back over the last few weeks. The days when I felt crappy and negative were the days with nos. The days that weren’t joyful were days with nos. The days I had old tapes playing in my mind, were days with nos. So, I thought that I’d bring some good advice for ‘newbies’ and myself. Just say yes!
The most Hands On way of being Hands Off
“We can be our kids partner in helping them get what they want in life or we can be the barrier that opens or closes according to our whim.” Beautiful quote from this piece.
How are you saying “yes”? Can you commit to one day of yeses and then two and before you know it, possibly an entire week? Where could you go from there?
Great post and great links – thanks for the reminder! I’ve been feeling negative and forgetting to say yes lately, too, so this has come just at the right time.
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