Natural Attachment

January 24, 2010

Ebb & Flow

Lately, there has been quite a bit of chaos (extra chaos) in our home. It’s the kind of chaos that I welcome. There have been people. A steady stream of people in & out of our home. I’ve mentioned several times in past posts that I am NOT a people person. While I might be generous with my things, food & love, I’d rather just spend my energy on my family most days. I have friends that I love & love them dearly I do, but my tolerance for being around other people is small and often forced past my comfort level — fake it til you make it, right?

This past Fall, I decided that I was going to make huge strides in being a more social being. I started off slow, but come Winter Solstice, I had a house full of people, children being loud & dirty dishes being found four days later in the oddest places. I want the house full, crazy & never clean, because there’s always people living here, not because I’m just a lazy ass who never cleans!

I figured if I could rediscover that flexibility that I used to have before I became a parent, I might learn something, find something, over come something & get myself back on the path I had fallen off of. Since the beginning of the year, I don’t think we’ve gone more than three days without there being someone at our house & often unexpected (the BEST kind of visitors). I’ve enjoyed this immensely. The more days we have with people in our house, the more I crave for people to show up & eat. AND eat they all do…man, I miss feeding hoards of people — I love it, I crave it.

This constant flow of  people in our home has caused me to relax more, get over or confront some of my most insane OCDs. Yeah, I’ll admit, in large, it’s been about me…it’s been therapy for me. I’m eternally grateful for the awesome people who are in my life & who have been making all this possible. I’m also forever indebted to my Dear Other Half, who thankfully is the patient, tolerant, flexible person who loves me, inspires me, puts up with me, goes to work for me, makes every day magic real for me & most importantly (as far as this post is concerned) encourages the chaos from the constant flow of people coming in & out of our home — he’s the best.

This year just seems like it’s going to be busy: awesome new neighbors (hi there Gyres), births to attend, gardens to tend to, meals to be cooked, mouths to feed, parties to play at & more chaos to be created. This year is going to be magical (in every sense) and for once, I’m NOT dreading it. I’m not being pulled along kicking & screaming.

Strangely, I am welcoming it all with my arms flung wide open like a little kid about to run in for the hug.

Peace & Love
Michele

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"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it." ~ Brene Brown