I know, I know, there are already a handful of conference type gatherings for Unschoolers, but what if, year round maybe, there was a magical place set in a rich natural environment where we could all hang out and vacation or hell, why don’t we just all move there?
Zenmomma’s hubby Jon has an Idea.
What do you think? Let him know and add your ideas as well.
…or at least that’s what he said to me. Pretty much since we got back from vacation and the week before we left, things have been rather askew with E. More sensory integration issues, more melt downs, not wanting me to read to him, constantly making messes with food/drinks on purpose, destroying things around him, trashing his room repeatedly, really late bed times (6 am!), not eating, eating non-stop to make up for not eating and pretty much refusing to leave the house (even to go outside). Now mind you, during all this, he was pretty much glued to the TV.
TV has never really been an issue with us, even before radical unschooling. The only real limit or control over the TV that I ever used was setting the timer for the TV to go off about 2 hours after he went to bed…otherwise it would stay on, because he’s go to sleep with it on and I’d have to go back into his room at like 5 am to turn it off — as well as his light most nights. He almost always fell asleep before the TV turned itself off and he new house to reset it if he was still awake. It pissed him off that I’d set it in the first place, but I insisted on doing it. I know how wrong this was. Anyway, I stopped doing this a long time ago.
So, while I was sitting back and watching him slowly decline over the last few weeks, I kept wondering what ‘it’ was that was causing my boy to turn into a monster! I noted the major increase in TV time and thought that maybe it was some sort of weird slow-reaction backlash on my slightly limiting TV time or something, but that explanation didn’t really fit the situation. It was becoming apparent to me that something was wrong. I tried talking to him about it and trying to figure out what was going on and why — I was getting no where other than pissed at all the messes I was repeatedly cleaning up. I was on top if I just remembered to meet him where he was…and boy is that hard on mess and problem-free days!
We finally reached a breaking point for he and I a few days ago — after he had broken a picture frame, broken his CD player, exploded another pen (for the fourth time) and finger painted with ketchup on his rug. By this time, most mainstream parents would have beaten their child, taken everything from them or at the very least grounded them from everything and everyone. I was in some sort of weird calm place and it reminded me just how much radical unschooling really does work — a strength that I really needed at the time.
We talked. It was hard, because he was both physically and emotionally exhausted. He was literally falling asleep in my arms, but trying to talk to me. I looked him in the eyes and said that he had to tell me what was going on inside of him or I really couldn’t help him. If we couldn’t communicate, then he was going to continue to break things and make messes and I would continue to be mad at the world and yell about everything. His sleepy eyes met mine and said something to the effect of, “it’s all wrong…I just get so upset…I want to watch TV, but I get so bored and tired and hungry, but I don’t eat or sleep because I want to watch TV and then I get all crazy like I do when I don’t eat and I just do stuff [break things, make messes] and then I feel bad and…and…and…I think my TV is destroying me”. I stared blankly at him for a second and then asked him what HE thought WE should do about it. He told me to remove his TV from his room and he’d go from there. Then he promptly fell asleep in my arms.
“I think my TV is destroying me” WOW, it’s hard enough to get grown adults addicted to heroin to admit that smack is destroying them, but for a 4 (almost 5) year old to be able to conceptualize a connection between A (his TV) and it’s effect on B (his happiness and health), well it’s fucking amazing. Who says children don’t know what’s good for them. The best part of this for me (and him) is that he found this out on his own and in a safe & loving environment. He tested himself, his limits (mine too!), reacted poorly and was able to notice that and make the connection. While he was asleep, daddy removed the TV and satellite box from his room and stashed it out of site.
The next day (like with a drug addict and withdrawals) was hard. For me. For E. He was upset that his TV was gone, but remembered what we talked about and wanted to feel better. It was a tough day and I was not very successful at getting him to eat any ‘real’ food. I literally was with him, right by his side, all day, until about 11 pm when he wanted me to read to him and he fell asleep within 5 minutes — after he insisted that he was bored and not tired and that he wanted his TV back.
Monday was day 5 with no TV. He’s been eating, only made a couple messes (out of frustration and boredom) , I’ve been reading to him every night, he’s been in bed and asleep by 11:30 every night (crazy), he’s slowly been able to entertain himself for more than 5 minute increments and we’ve been outside a lot and gone places and done things!
I can not imagine where this would have lead to or what would have happened if I was not me and I wasn’t trying to be a mindful parent or if I didn’t fully believe in radical unschooling. I know many people would say that it would never have happened if I had limits or coercively controlled things more, but I fear just how destructive things would have been for everyone if that were the case. E takes after me and doesn’t do well with any sort arbitrary or unnecessary limitations — I was a ‘terrible’ child and apparently never thought about anyone but myself…when in reality, I felt trapped, helpless, powerless and like very few people cared about me, while I cared about everyone and everything.
It’s nice to be able to have these experiences, talk about them, find solutions and move on, instead of dwelling on them for years to come.
Life is Good.
Here are some of the pictures from the Picnic that were taken by Marie. I’ll have more up here soon.
We landed back home from vacation yesterday afternoon. We had fun, the tree house cottages are AWESOME and my in-laws are doing well.
Points of Interest During Our Time of Absence:
* Tree House Cottages @ The Maple Tree Camp in Gapland, MD
* The Virginia Living Museum — as Elijah says, “it’s like a museum & a zoo shoved together!”
* The Children’s Museum of Virginia — which wasn’t all that grand in our spoiled eyes!
* Edgar Cayce Day Spa — where we both got massages…in the same room…together!
* The Heritage Centre – yummy eats, groceries and gifts/supplies
* Kid’s Cove @ Mount Trashmore Park — totally awesome place for kiddos to play & “Free Runners” to practice
* Trader Joe’s of Newport News, VA — because, even when DH is away from work, he still has to ‘be there’!
I would recommend that everyone who enjoys the outdoors-life, take a weekend or week to enjoy the tree house cottages in Maryland. They were wonderful and the owner is such a nice lady. Everything is very laid back and flexible. The rates are very reasonable and the cabins rock…actually the whole grounds rock. We found mushrooms, fuzzy caterpillars (that I think glowed in the dark), daddy-long-legged spiders, fireflies, mayapples and the supplies needed to make little gnome homes. E was very helpful with gathering sticks and leaves for daddy and fire making — he was even quite skilled in helping to actually start the fires. He had his pocket knife, but never once got it out to use it…maybe it will come in handy helping me in the garden. William was able to basically perfect fire building in a log burning stove, which is nice, since we will hopefully own one in the future. I found that I can make rather mean chili on a log burning stove!
We managed to make it out to the beach one evening from about 10:30pm until a little after midnight…the ocean really is best at night! But alas, a storm and sleepiness were both rolling in, so we had to make for the hotel. I’d love to try and spend the night at the beach in the future — I can imagine the sleep that I would get!
We were a bit disappointed with the children’s museum…or maybe we were just disappointed that it wasn’t as grand as our children’s museum. Either way, it’s a huge space, with lots of ‘dead space’ that could be used for exciting exhibits. Most of the exhibits seemed to be old, not well kept and plenty of things were broken.
The living museum was really cool. I would like to see Pennsylvania try to do something similar. I’d like to go back either without E or when he’s more willing to let me go at a slower pace to ‘enjoy’ it more — read, I really wanted to dawdle and he wanted to run through it fast. Very neat, none the less.
William and I enjoyed our massages from the Edgar Cayce spa. It wasn’t as grand as I had hoped, but it was a neat place, friendly staff and awesome grounds. I think I just needed more than one hour of massage…can a buy a year of it?
The in-laws enjoyed seeing us and spending time with the kiddo. They’re doing well in VAbeach. Their house is very nice and suits them well. They both are enjoying the environment and community. My MIL still (not so secretly) pines for us to move out there… While being near the beach does have it’s perks, being in VAbeach, isn’t my idea of ‘the beach’. Not to mention that we couldn’t afford to live anywhere that we’d find suitable for us there. Besides, we are quite happy in the ‘burgh…actually, I find that I feel more at home here than I ever did back in Oklahoma — I think that has more to do with the fact that I am completely free to be ‘me’ everywhere I am and not just around small circles, in hidden corners.
So, now we are back and getting back to our life…not that vacation isn’t our life too, but it’s nice to be home, in my own bed and not expected to do anything for anyone else — outside of the normal daily expectations…never-mind!
Our community garden now has a fence with a lock…not exactly sure how I am supposed to be gardening with a locked fence and no email detailing this new development, but I am sure that I will get to the bottom of this in a day or so.
Tomorrow is CSA number three for us (fourth of the season, but we missed last week because of vacation) and I am so excited about it! I can’t wait to see what awesome green goodness awaits us.
Well, before I go to bed, I want to leave you with a little bit of teenage-wisdom, which can be found here.
Goodnite.
I am not alone in my thinking. This mum has many of the same thoughts.
Unscholg = Unschooling + (web)blog: things specific to OUR unschooling (not yours or there’s ); a log of unschooling.
I had originally wanted to write little bits and bots about our unschooling journey and what E is up to, but it’s really so hard for me to separate things out into little neat boxes for readers…unless I try super hard and over analyze everything thing we do. We are living and learning…learning is everything we do. Our educational philosophy, parenting philosophy and life are not one without the other. I am finally at a point where I don’t see in ’subjects’, but rather really neat and often profound connections that E makes between thing ‘A’ and thing ‘B’.
With that said, I’ll do my best to give a recap of the last week. This is just more of a list of things…I have expounded on some and left some comments here and there…it might make no real sense to many of you, but that’s why this here Unscholg is OURS and not YOURS!
5th:
Noggin TV
Walk to & from picking up CSA (it was hot & E wasn’t too happy; I felt sad for him)
Pick up CSA share
Online computer games w/Mum (these vary & he insists on not playing the same one more than once!)
Asked to make hand-puppets at 11pm, which needed pipe cleaners and none could be found — we still haven’t found/bought pipe cleaners ;(
6th:
Noggin TV
Kapla blocks
Wooden blocks
Lincoln logs
5# dumbbell — he really likes this thing & actually uses it!
Online computer games w/ Mum
7th:
Noggin TV
Online computer games w/ Mum
Lincoln logs
Wooden blocks
Outside w/Mum - played with a ball & checked on the garden
Outside on screened porch (alone) - trucks & such
Figured out that it’s so much fun to open his Sigg bottle & make water messes!
8th:
Noggin TV
Took apart 2 dozen pens
Lacing beads
Online computer games w/ Mum
Made lots of food & water messes!
9th:
Noggin TV
Zingo w/Mum & he made up a memory-type game with the tiles too
New dinosaur puzzle
Summer box of goodies from Great Grandma J
One of his dismantled pens exploded & he was covered from head to toe in blue ink!
Long bath — his skin is still stained a bit though!
10th:
Noggin TV
Walk to & from Community Garden
Community Garden — weeded, watered (and played with water!) & dead-headed the spring onions.
Visited w/ Matt, Tracey, Annan & Dugan while at the garden
Online computer games w/ Mum
Kapla blocks
Watched me mix up & apply henna to my hand
11th:
Noggin TV
Sprout TV
Online computer games w/ Mum
Cardboard box car & related shenanigans
Very lazy day w/ lots of ‘just hanging out’!
12th: so far today
Sprout TV
Noggin TV
Walk to & from picking up CSA
Picked up CSA share & ate some of the strawberries on the way home
Online computer games w/ Mum
Made random made-up ‘organs’ w/ some Fidgets (neat little blocks stung together by elastic through the middle)
So, that’s it…man, maybe I should have picked a ‘better’ week to post with! Ha! Tomorrow we are going to be purchasing a Leapfrog Leapster for Elijah…he doesn’t know it yet! Hopefully it will be something new to engage him during our car rides during this vacation…and it might spawn a life-long obsession with ‘video games’…and that’s okay with me. So long as he enjoys himself and the others than are around him.
That’s how I feel most days when I have to interact with other parents. Not child-free people — they tend to be more rational, because they don’t feel the overwhelming oppression to be super parents in the eye of society or the mainstream. It’s really hard to talk about what you do and don’t do without sounding like you are putting down another parent’s choices.
It’s almost impossible to impart an idea or solution when it comes to parenting, because the person receiving the idea or solution will inevitably either ask ‘why, would you do XXX’ or they immediately recoil with, ‘well, we XXX and there are just some things that we don’t or can’t XXX’. Then don’t ask me for my ideas.
It is impossible for someone to ask me about why I unschool with my son, because to do so, is to point out directly and indirectly, negatives about schooling. No one wants to be told that the problems they are having with their children are most likely directly connected to school and or the parents’ expectations of education for their child.
I can’t really talk about authentic/peaceful/respectful parenting without horribly offending another parent. We live in such a rule-bound society that to even mention the idea that you have very few or no rules, is like admitting to getting drunk and high and driving through school crossings at 90 mph! The idea of not using rewards, punishments and bribes also seems to make parents’ faces crinkle up and then ask, ‘well, what if he hits his little brother? Do I just not do anything?’…yes, of course that’s what I mean! It’s like we’ve been so convinced that nothing but shaming and punishment can express morality or ethics. I love those parents who spank/swat/slap/hit to punish a child for hitting…wow, the logic just escapes me.
And respecting a child’s intelligence and autonomy is another hot issue. You mean, you let him choose…no, I don’t ‘let’ him choose anymore than I ‘let’ my friend or husband choose. But it can not always be about your child…nor can it always be about you, the parent. It appears that most people can not and will not ever get over the whole, but I am his/her parent and they are the child — I own them and the right to direct their lives mentality. The excuse is always that they are children and do not have the mental maturity to handle certain situations and so on. Yes, but that doesn’t mean that because you are bigger and ‘more intelligent/mature’ that you have all the rights and power.Children are shorter, smaller, less mature and less experienced. It’s my job to help guide my child beyond his current state…like showing an intern around the office and explaining how the copier works…really, I am serious with that analogy.
I am guiding and providing for an inexperienced adult, who is a separate human being with his own personality, wants, needs, thoughts and pace in life. It would be illogical, rude and pretentious of me to think I have the right to make and enforce decisions on his behalf. We are in this together. What I need/want and what he needs/wants are not always the same and are not always compatible, but there is almost always a way to see that everyone is taken care of, even if it means everyone has to give a little — not that my son must give it all up, because I’m ‘in charge’. That doesn’t mean that there are not times where my ‘have to’ is paramount…sometimes there are things which have to be done and no amount of schedule arranging can occur to make it so that my son can opt out. But, I carefully examine my ‘have to’ things and see where I can change them or make them enjoyable for everyone. (a common ‘have to’ mentioned by parents is, “we have to go to the store/doctor/hair salon”). The important thing here is to limit your ‘have to’ events that would require your child’s compliance/inclusion…if limited to only those truly necessary, it limits the powerlessness that a child feels in these situations and they tend to ‘act better’ and not ’cause problems’ or ‘act out’ during these events.
I believe (or rather really want to believe) in the meme that every parent and family has to find what works for them. Unfortunately, it often appears that what ‘works for the family’, is really ‘what works for the parents’. I guess it’s really hard for the mainstream to listen to their instincts, listen to and watch their children for cues and not turn to and rely upon ‘experts’ or parenting memes. I am sure everyone has heard some form or another of, ‘I really felt like what I/we were doing was right, but XXX says that I/we were wrong…it pains me and I am torn.’ Here’s a tip, if it pains you and you are torn, then changing what you had been doing might not have been the best thing for your family.
I have a hard time of explaining myself without offending or without making the other person feel guilty. But, I have always thought of being offended and feeling guilty as defense mechanisms that should cause me to really figure out why I feel that way and to reflect on the subject at hand…and possibly change my thoughts and actions. Nobody wants to be wrong, especially when it comes to parenting, and it’s okay and totally expected that we will all screw up, but is it really that important to freak out every time someone calls you out on your ideas or actions?
So, now I will rant about a couple of these parenting issues that I see as screw ups and why…because I want to and I need to vent.
Candy/Food Bribing/Restrictions:
With all the issues surrounding food, why would anyone use food as a kind of behavioral currency? We don’t want our children to get fat, yet we bribe them with food (usually junk food) to do ‘good things’…because we wouldn’t want them to just ‘be good’ for ‘goodness sake’. Funny thing is, usually the bribing is done to coerce a child to do something that they do not want to do…would you treat your partner or best friend like that — oddly, many people do and it’s rather insulting. And the limiting of food…there is no better way to ensure that a child will ‘do nothing but eat cake’, than to forbid or restrict the eating of said cake — you can apply this to sex, drugs, TV and ‘fill-in-the-blank’ too. I mean, if you tell me I can only eat it after dinner or on Friday evenings, well I am going to gorge on it, because it will soon be out of my reach until the next ‘cake-eating-time-installment’. Elijah recently figured out that if he ate an entire dark chocolate bar, he felt ill for two days…he now limits his chocolate intake. It’s the parents’ job to set a good model by eating well and providing groceries for young children, which fosters healthy eating.
Helicopter Parents:
I don’t think I really should have to mention this, but I guess I do. Hovering over another person has to feel odd for the person hovering, as well as the person being hovered over. How on Earth are our children ever going to be competent adults when we are constantly micromanaging their every move and intervening at every sign of squabble or difficulty? If I ever have a daughter and she chooses to go to a prom or other ‘fancy dance’, I hope that she’s capable of picking out her own dress and only asks me to come along for support and a critical eye, not because she can’t make a decision without me coordinating everything. I also hope that as my son grows, he will be more and more able to ‘work things out’ among he and his friends, since I don’t always step in and do it for them. I hope when they fall down (and I really want them to from time to time), they think to stand up and not look for me to pick them up every time. It’s really okay for your children to not be in your line of sight always and forever…it’s really okay for you to relax and let them do stuff that might result in a skinned knee. More on Free Range (cage free!) Kids and Anti-Helicopter Parenting here.
I have more, but I don’t have the time. I’m just venting. I am thankful for the radical parents, unschooling parents and such that I know who ‘get it’ and don’t make me feel like the odd one. Maybe I only appreciate them, because they are like-minded and maybe that’s just okay…
I am so ‘scene one‘ that it hurts every time I try to get involved with ’scene two’. I get nervous and start doing things to my child and saying things to him that I would not do otherwise — it’s like a virus from which there is no real immunity other than avoidance. I desperately seek out others, but I always seem to find those on the fence or ‘pretending’ to be like-minded, but in reality they are really just ‘traditional parents’ who happened to breastfeed or co-sleep or whatever — not to down play those things, because I feel they are really important, but it’s hard to find other parents who are where I am (most of use are hiding!).
So, if there are other Radical Unschoolers out there who are wanting to come out from hiding and join up with myself and others, please drop me a line. Do it for the kids!
In recent blog activity, a fellow Anarchist and I had gone back and forth about the difference between rules and principles and about whether or not it’s possible to be a non-coercive parent and not over step your natural bounds. We are on opposite ends of the matter.
I wanted to use this space to share a couple links on the matter. I think it’s important to envision the idea of living by principles rather than rules…I think it’s then that one can see how arbitrary and useless rules and control are. Since my ideas stem first from being a parent with a deep respect for my own intuition, second from our radical unschooling and third because I am an Anarchist…not all of the links are solely about parenting in general, but are about radical unschooling, which is more of a lifestyle choice and really goes beyond parenting and education methods. Find something that you enjoy.
Rules vs. Principles by Danielle Conger (her entire site is fantastic for unschoolers)
Living by Principles Instead of by Rules (another radical unschooling goldmine website)
Ben Lovejoy on Living by Principles instead of by Rules
Control and its related problems
Where is the edge of unschooling? (more about control, regulating & rules)
Holly’s expressions of surprise and disbelief
Freedom/Choices/Empowerment/Respect
I realize there is a lot here, but I could offer a lot more. Reflection is key and I know that before the ‘ah ha’ moment happened for me, I was a much more stressed out and plain old bitchy Mother. I am still learning and more importantly starting to rewrite all of the negative parenting & interacting with people that I inherited from my environment growing up.
Is my child sheltered? Are we a privileged family? As an Anarchist, how can I unschool & other similar ‘opt out’ actions? Can I really be a Feminist and be a Mother?
Is my child sheltered?
I’d have to say no up front, but then ask you to elaborate on the question behind the question. His friends are limited to the children of parents I am friends with and those in the community that we see frequently — and they are not all of the same ‘tribe’. Would he have a more diverse group of peers if he was to be in school…yes, to some degree I am sure. I also think that if we were simply able to move from the Northside of Pittsburgh (which is soaked in “white guilt” money), he would have a more diverse group of children to interact with and more children to relate to whose parents believe in treating them like autonomous individuals rather than property or mere inconveniences on their lives. E. is not sheltered from ‘reality’ and what is reported on the news…though we don’t watch the news. He knows about social ills and why we do the things that we do to not feed more money into institutions and corporations that perpetuate these ills. He also realizes that even his father and I do not agree on everything and how we manage. He trusts us and we trust him. He is almost five at the time of writing this…so, I am very comfortable with saying that yes, he is sheltered from a lot of what goes on, but not to an extent that he is shocked or devastated by events when they happen. He asks questions, gets answers and moves on. As E. gets older and starts doing more things in the community and more things on his own, he will be exposed to even more things and gain even deeper knowledge of the world that surrounds him.
Are we able to ‘do this’ (unschool) because we are privileged?
The short answer, no. We are surviving, pay our bills and eat. We are happy and have things…wouldn’t mind having more things from time to time, but we aren’t lacking basic needs. But we are definitely Low Income and not middle class or higher. Are we more privileged than others, yes, but we aren’t holding anyone back or keeping anyone down. We also believe so strongly in respecting our child and being authentic to his needs that we would do about anything to make sure we could continue to offer him the ability to experience life by living day to day in ‘the real world’ and not locked behind a school’s walls where he would have to ask permission (and often be denied) to piss. Where he would be singled out because he is biracial and would be considered ‘at-risk’. Where he would be force fed information not relevant to his life in the present and punished for not testing well. He would be indoctrinated with ‘character education’, which his father and I find absolutely absurd. He would be told that sex is evil and be denied accurate information to keep himself and others safe and healthy. He would be ‘at-risk’ in a school’s care. We are able to ‘do this’, because we want to prevent our son from becoming another blind member of this nation.
As an Anarchist, how can I unschool & other similar ‘opt out’ actions? Aren’t I just adding to the problem?
Please, I am so sick of hearing this point of view. If we really wanted to change the system them we should do it from the inside out. We should have our children enrolled and we should be there volunteering etc etc. You can not change this system of schooling, which we are cursed with; you have to demolish it and start anew. I can not do that by subjecting my child to the shit (big and little) that goes on in schools. I am not oppressing people who ‘are not so privlaged’ by keeping my child out of the system. If there is a will, there is a way. You can fight this too. It isn’t easy and it can mean a lot of self sacrifice…but I guess that’s too much to ask from some of my fellow Anarchists and Feminists. We all do what we can with the knowledge we have at hand and we do better when we are shown better. By not forcing school and all that it entails on my child and my family, I am showing others that there is another way. There is a better way for many out there who are suffering and their children are suffering. My child learns from the actions and words of those around him; so do you and so does everyone else. Stop trying to tell me that in order to be a ‘good Anarchist’ I have to subject my child to the very shit I am fighting against — fuck you!
Can I really be a Feminist and be a Mother?
Yes! Did I want to be a Mother? Yes. Do I think women should have the right to choose when, where and how to have or not have children? Yes. How do I really feel? I think it is wrong and cruel for women to have children they have no intention to raise with respect. I think it is wrong to make decisions for your child that only and always cater to your desires. If having a child (who is very dependent on you) is too much for your wants/needs/desires and too much of an inconvenience on your way of life, then do NOT have children. Do not have children simply because society expects you to have them. Do not have children so that you can pay someone else to raise them to afford you the ‘freedom’ to pursue your own plans. If you are going to give birth and raise a child then know what that means. It doesn’t mean that you will NEVER have your own time or that you can not pursue your own wants. But once you have a child you should realize that the world is no longer only spinning for you, but for you both. Yes, please find friends (or keep old friends) and go out and do things for yourself. Find time to work college, independent study, employment or hobbies into your life, but not in place of being a Mother. You can gain an education, you can work and you can paint without never seeing your children and without needing a partner. It does take work and effort, which as a Mother, I hope you are willing to put forth for your child. Is it possible? Yes, but it is often times fucking painful in a world that is oppressed by Patriarchal systems.
Can you really be a ‘radical’ and embrace/practice Radical Unschooling? Hell yes and you don’t have to be a ‘white, hetero, middle/upper class family’. And if you don’t fit that stereotype, it’s even more important that you take another look at Radical Unschooling. It might be the answer YOUR family has been searching for.
I have come across a fantastic definition regarding Radical Unschooling. I now share this with you…it’s from: Daikini Crossroads
Unschooling:
Trusting that your children can and will learn all the academic skills and information that they need to live fully without enforced lessons – the “not doing school” part. The parents’ job is to create the environment, both physical and mental, wherein interests and passions can be discovered and facilitated.
Radical Unschooling:
Extending unschooling trust to all areas of your whole life, living by general Principles such as Honesty, Kindness, Respect, Acceptance, Generosity instead of having rules, chores, required behaviors, punishments of any sort. It is about building relationships, respecting children as autonomous beings and creating an environment where the freedom to make real choices is fostered and individual preferences honored as much as possible within real practical constraints (as opposed to having some kind of behavioral control agenda).
And I also wanted to share this great and cute video with you all.
"Do you ever wonder who the leader is? Do you ever stop and think that you could stop following and start leading your own family?" - Valerie Fitzenreiter