Natural Attachment

January 27, 2011

tattoo

Filed under: Life,Midwifery,Procreation — Tags: , , — michele james-parham @ 5:43 pm

Today, I went to talk shop about my tattoo. I made my appointment for next Wednesday at 2pm, the day after my 29th birthday.

Here’s what I’m getting (click to see full size):

LaSirena

Color will be added to it about three weeks after the outline is done. I’ll be sure to post pictures of the process.

Also, “outlaw midwives zine” vol2 is out and ready for you to read.

Clip to Evernote

July 9, 2009

Life, Stuff & Adoption

I’m finally getting around to cleaning and unpacking my office/studio. We have lived in our current house a smidgen over 2 years now and I am just now getting around to my space. It kind of feels good, but oddly not as good as it felt helping Dear Other Half clean out and somewhat organize his studio.

I’ve decided to cut back on hosting my Unschooling meet up. I’m only hosting it one day a month and at the park instead of my home. After debating on what to do once it turned more ‘homeschooling’ and not so much ‘unschooling’, I decided to just give us some space, but not drop it all together. Hanging out with families who aren’t Free or trying to create Freedom for themselves is not all that fun, yet it is rather draining.

We haven’t been back to the UUCNH Playgroup since our second visit. Oddly enough, this isn’t because we don’t want to go again, but rather because life has just been more important. We’ve had things continually popping up on Tuesdays that either conflict or just seem more important. We are not wanting for things to do these days. Life is abundant and the need to fill up time/space with awkward, rule-ridden playgroups, just hasn’t presented itself.

I’m contemplating leaving the not-so-”Hip Mama“, Hip Mama Meet Up that I am a member of currently (don’t join a group by the name alone). Though I have met some awesome (dare I say “radical”) mamas through this group, on the whole, with the commitment it takes, I am starting to dread it. The constant shit storm of both hate-mail and love-mail, as well as comments is enough to make anyone’s head spin. I once again have found myself in a space where apparently I “speak” for several (a surprising number in reality) group members who seem to not want to “take the heat” for having/expressing divergent ideas — ideas that wouldn’t be so divergent if it was really a “Hip Mama”, Hip Mama Meet Up. Then there’s also the fact that practically everyone has little babies or children off at school…not the best recipe of success for a “Hip Mama” with an Unschooling son who will be 6 years old in 2 months.

I have left my Etsy shop on vacation mode. I am making some more stuff, redoing some descriptions and needing to take some photos for new additions. I’m making headway, but its been slow going. Again, with that Life business…it just seems to keep happening ;)

Money has been tight around here lately. We spent an obscene amount of money on our ice cream party and we have both the NEU Con & Unschooling Cruise, as well as, Elijah’s 6th b-day and William’s 30th b-day all coming up over the next few months. I really wanted to find a way to attend Faith Void’s Enjoy Life unschooling con in September, but I just don’t see where the money could materialize from. I’ve put it out there for the Universe to mull over, but She can be cruel at times — Just, but Cruel.

On a personal note, I am really tired of not being pregnant. I have resolved that one of us is infertile and to just let it go. Somehow, though, the depression hasn’t followed out the door as well. Apparently, no amount of magical thinking, ceremony, spiritual sacrifices or sex (and doing so at various times…even when I think it would be crazy) is enough to make this body agree with my head/heart. Four pregnancies, one child & approaching 30 years old…The Universe has spoken, telling me to fold up my genes, they are no longer needed. Adoption. It seems to be the answer and what I have always planned on doing in the first place. However, I don’t like how the money factor of adoption makes it feel very “black-market”-ish. Are there people out there who are giving their children (I say children, because EVERYONE wants babies, but I’d much rather Grace/rescue a child 12mons – 5yrs) up for adoption and NOT want some weird & arbitrarily assigned monetary fortune? I’m NOT joking or trying to be callus.

Personal note continued: I was contacted by a 20 yr old women when Elijah was 3 months old. She was 1/2 way through her pregnancy and we had been talking online and over the phone. Out of the blue one day she announced that she had decided to place her baby up for adoption. She really wanted me to adopt her baby. Here’s where things get interesting. She didn’t want any money. She wanted me to be her midwife. She wanted me to provide prenatal care, support, space and to attend her birth. She wanted me to Love, Mother & raise her baby. For lack of a more eloquent & respectful word, Barter. My time, expertise, Love and Mothering capacity for her baby. I thought about it deeply for 12 days. I discussed it with no one…not even William, who will no doubt read this and have some thoughts, if not words. On day 12, I told her that I couldn’t; though as blessed as I felt and as gracious as she was, I couldn’t. There were things in my life at the time that I was unsure of and I had a 3 month old I was still getting to know. Usually the Universe nor Buddha provides these moments to us a second time…rarely a first time. I am feeling the sting from the Universe’s slap in my current hour.

Jakýkoliv V?le Být , V?le Být

Peace & Love

Clip to Evernote

May 23, 2008

Midwife for Amish Wins Appeal

Filed under: Media,Midwifery — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — michele james-parham @ 11:00 pm

YAY! That’s all that needs to be said!!!! And for all my geeky friends, I guess I should also say, ‘w00t’!

Judges Back Midwife

Midwife Victorious in Penn. Case

Midwife for Amish Wins Appeal

Opinion By Judge Friedman

Judges Back Midwife

Birthing Women Win Legal Decision

PA Court Allows Unlicensed Midwife to Resume Practice

Midwife for Amish Wins on Appeal

Clip to Evernote

May 5, 2008

Just passing along…

Filed under: Midwifery,Procreation,Religiosophy — Tags: , , , — michele james-parham @ 12:37 am

…a thing of Beauty and perfectly stated words that everyone should remember when they are to be involved with a pregnant/laboring Mother.

She CAN do it herself.
You CAN do it yourself, when it is YOUR turn.
You are a guest at a Magical rite of passage when you are invited to witness one soul coming into its being through another being…it is sacred and pure.

Clip to Evernote

April 20, 2008

Rogue Midwifery

Filed under: Health,Media,Midwifery,Politics,Procreation — Tags: , , , , , — michele james-parham @ 6:11 pm

Kirsten Anderberg kindly gave me permission to post her article on her experience with ‘rogue midwives’. I like to think (and surely many people would say) that I share many of the same qualities as the midwives Kirsten speaks of. I am sure many of you might have come across this article somewhere else, but I figured it would be good to get up here. Enjoy.

Rogue Midwifery

by Kirsten Anderberg (www.kirstenanderberg.com)
Written March 2004

 


Miriamma Carson, one of my midwives

Women helping other women deliver babies is as old as humanity. It makes sense. So why do mainstream doctors and hospitals act like midwifery is some radical, dangerous, medically-irresponsible quackery? In Scandanavia, the UK, and the Netherlands, female midwifery is a thriving occupation. Yet in America, it has been constructively outlawed as a profession, for 100 years. While I was in labor, during my home birth, I actually asked the midwives, “Are you sure this is okay to do at home, and not in a hospital?” They said, “Kirsten, think about it. THIS is the way women birthed for thousands of years before doctors and hospitals.” That made sense, but I had to ask, due to my years of American medical brainwashing.

My midwives were rogue outlaws, in many ways. They fully understood the political activism involved, they fully appreciated the anarchist nature of what they were doing. They birthed approximately 200 babies in the Seattle area, between the years of 1980 and 2000, and they did so with no licenses, and no medical credentials. They delivered my baby at home, illegally, and I am eternally grateful. When I gave birth in 1984, there were no hospitals allowing midwives to birth in them, no insurance plan would pay for a midwife, and Swedish Hospital was the only hospital in Seattle “experimenting” with birthing rooms. There were no single or gay mom childbirth classes, so I quit going to childbirth classes, as they were filled only with middle-class, heterosexual couples. One of my midwives, Miriamma Carson, was bisexual, spoke fluent Spanish, was a radical activist and feminist, and she offered me a safe place, when nowhere else felt safe. For $300, I was given private childbirth classes with other single moms, and pre/post natal exams, as well as a 30 hour labor and home birth attended by two midwives. When I had trouble paying it, Miriamma let me barter cooking dinners for her kids instead. I could never have afforded such superior health care under the status quo, for-massive-profit, medical system.

Both of my midwives, Miriamma and Barbara R., had sons living at home while they were midwives. And they helped homeless teens often. One night Miriamma’s son woke her up at 3 am, saying he had stumbled on a teen girl, in a car, behind the 7-11, in labor. She would not leave with him, so he asked her to wait, and said he would send his radical midwife mom to help her. Miriamma grabbed her birthing kit, and charged out the door towards the 7-11. Miriamma delivered the baby, in the car, in the middle of the night, with dignity, no questions asked. The girl refused to leave with Miriamma, but Miriamma invited the girl to her home, and gave the girl her home phone number before she left. I am wildly impressed by this. Some would say that was irresponsible of Miriamma, and that she should have called the cops, or CPS, or forced the mother into a hospital. But Miriamma understood the difference between trauma and empowerment, and via her gift of birthing assistance without authority trips, she often saved women unnecessary trauma, allowing the joy of birth to prevail.

Once Miriamma had a woman who only spoke Spanish, in labor, in her car, trying to drive her home for the birth. They got stuck in a traffic jam. Miriamma called her nearest friend and told her to prepare a room in their home for a birth. She got off at the next exit and drove to the friend’s house, where the woman had a healthy birth. Miriamma spent years living in poor Mexican villages, and she knew there had been mass marketing of corporate baby formulas in Mexico, as well as in the U.S., shaming poor moms away from breastfeeding. So Miriamma asked the friend whose house they had landed at, to start breastfeeding in front of the new mom, who just delivered, to set a positive tone for breastfeeding. Miriamma was very good at finding healthy ways for moms to learn from each other.

These midwives were also incredibly gifted at networking. They led me to Doctor David Springer, one of the first M.D.’s to graduate from John Bastyr’s Naturopathic College (http://www.bastyr.edu/), with an N.D. He became one of Seattle’s finest holistic health pediatricians and took grand care of my son for 18 years. They hooked me up with La Leche League (www.lalecheleague.org), when I had breastfeeding problems. They taught low-income moms about the WIC program. They facilitated safe homes for domestic violence victims. They arranged safe abortions when asked. As a matter of fact, Miriamma took me to a safe abortion clinic, when I asked, years before she attended my birth. She bought the equipment abortion clinics use, and hid it in her basement, when she feared abortion may become illegal again. Miriamma is from a long line of radical women who saw access to safe birth control, abortion and delivery, as a woman’s right. Emma Goldman took formal training in midwifery in 1895, and was saddened by the plight of women with unwanted pregnancies, as a matter of fact.

Long have the fields of midwifery, women’s health care, witchcraft, and feminism, been associated. In the article, “Witches, Midwives, and Nurses,” (http://www.blancmange.net/tmh/articles/witches.html) by B. Ehrenreich and D. English, they say, “Women healers were people’s doctors, and their medicine was part of a people’s subculture. To this very day women’s medical practice has thrived in the midst of rebellious lower class movements which have struggled to be free from the established authorities. Male professionals, on the other hand, served the ruling class…Witch hunts did not eliminate the lower class woman healer, but they branded her forever as superstitious and possibly malevolent.” Calling self-help, preventative and traditional medicine a “radical assault on medical elitism,” traditional healers named “King-craft, Priest-craft, Lawyer-craft and Doctor-craft” the “four great evils of the time,” according to the article. By the 1840′s, medical licensing laws had been repealed in almost all of the states. But by the 1900′s, racism was also playing into the sexism, classism, and medical elitism, and since it was mostly immigrant and poor women who were having and assisting home births, white women of the Victorian brand, were asking for the white male doctors in sterile hospitals for birthing help, not poor immigrant midwives with birthing experience and herbal knowledge. And elite, white, women doctors, such as Elizabeth Blackwell, turned on the women midwives too. The article says in 1910, 50% of all babies born in America were delivered by midwives. And although traditional medicine was primarily a political and economical issue, the mainstream medical profession tried to say it was a medical and/or scientific issue. The medical profession has attacked the autonomy of midwives as health care providers, yet DIY women’s health care continues, as a liberating force.

When I was about 20 hours into labor, I started wimping out, and asked to go to a hospital for drugs, as I was exhausted, and sick of the pain. But my midwives reminded me that if I went to a hospital, the midwives would be locked outside, I would be forced to do a lot of authoritative things I would want to rebel against via doctors, and it could end up in a C-section. Those threats kept me at home trying to birth naturally, which finally did happen. And I am so thankful for them talking me through it. Miriamma died in the mid-1990′s, due to cancer. It was an emotional loss for the community. Her memorial had a cast of hundreds. Woman after woman bore witness to how Miriamma saved her life when in crisis, giving her dignity and comfort, when many of us had felt like “untouchables.” Whether we were homeless teens, battered wives, single welfare moms, gay moms, Spanish-speaking moms; we were all welcome on earth, according to Miriamma’s open-arm policy. We all deserved superior health care. We all deserved safe births and breastfeeding without stigma. Due to these beliefs, my midwives were two of the most radical anarchists I have ever met.

My friend Beth, in Santa Cruz, Ca., gave birth to her daughter, at night, on the sand, at the beach, with the help of her friend/midwife Moon Maiden. Birth is a tremendously powerful event and being drugged in a sterile hospital with paternalistic doctors is not the ultimate birth experience for many of us. Many of us want to birth, with our friends and families, in nature, without drugs. And such freedoms around birth are barely legal, if at all. So rogue midwifery continues on, under the radar of the mainstream, as political activism, as feminism, as alternative health care. Even with the recent advent of birthing rooms and licensed midwives, this field is a rogue one at best. Even mainstream midwifery resources, such as Midwifery Today magazine (http://www.midwiferytoday.com), and Midwives Online (http://www.midwivesonline.com) have a very anti-authoritarian tone. Doctors are not women’s bosses, and radical midwives understand this. Groups such as the Radical Midwives group (http://www.radmid.demon.co.uk/) in the U.K., see midwifery as a political issue, as well as a health issue. Midwives have been doing this as long as humans have existed. No laws can change it.

You can receive Kirsten’s articles, as they are written, via an email list called “Eat the Press.” Go to http://lists.riseup.net/www/info/eatthepress to join the list.
Kirsten Anderberg. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint/publish, please contact Kirsten at kirstena@resist.ca.

Clip to Evernote

April 16, 2008

Breech…

Filed under: Education,Media,Midwifery,Procreation — Tags: , , , , — michele james-parham @ 6:05 pm

birthing as it is at home and should be elsewhere!

I still cannot figure out why more midwives do NOT know how to NOT do anything when attending breech births and other births exhibiting variations of normality. This midwife didn’t do anything but talk to the mother and let her know what was going on…is there anything else she SHOULD DO? NO!

Learn from this video what you obviously aren’t learning at your clinics and hospitals.

Clip to Evernote
Older Posts »

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it." ~ Brene Brown